The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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