when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
