I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
