i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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