I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
