Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
