i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
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