Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
