You work out of a Hotel?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm bleeding and have questions
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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