I'm jealous of your bromance
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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