I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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