Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
