There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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