i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
