Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
