Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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