Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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