Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
