That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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