I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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