My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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