just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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