tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
