Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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