Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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