id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
