My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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