she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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