Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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