Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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