...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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