While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
