member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
