Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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