He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Randomize
