So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
