I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
