Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
