all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
