a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
we have officially lost it.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
