Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
