How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
only you would photoshop your dick
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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