Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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