my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
