Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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