Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
