somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
