That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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