Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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