I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
