I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
