clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
