Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
