Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
well you can't waste a boner
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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